Writer's Rant Of Frustrations and Traumas

I write because that is my expression of self. A writer only writes to structure sentences out of the madness of words. It is a form of sanity within a crazy community of life. It is a counselling session with the only person listening possibly being behind another computer or curled up in bed about to fall asleep ...so they may not be listening at all, but still you continue to write. Like possession. Question is how much structure is too much structure, once the work flows out of you?

My creative process is first I talk to myself out loud to try to understand what I am trying to say clearly, before putting finger to computer type pad. The ideas are never formed fully until they come out of my mouth, then the words have the freedom to reject themselves or to commit themselves to a page. Whichever course of action it takes is fine with me as long as I am allowed to speak and write with an inhibited flow. Once I reach this point, I put the writing back into my mouth and chew a bit more until the work is easily digestible for others.

Then, at that point, it is advised by some to squeezed the work into a uniform worn by many, for it to be recognisable, in the form of traditional poetical structures.

Personally, the day I put my writing under rules and restrictions is the day I stop writing, I believe. The world already has so many rules and restrictions regarding social interaction, romantic relationships and expectations of the future, do I really want to put rules on my writing like a religious, non-personal text? Where does the freedom come from within these strict rules? People say try the strict rules first and then comment. I say it is like trying out marriage just so you are able to participate in the arguments.

It can be said that writing in itself is a set of grammatical rules. I would argue that the flexibility using the grammatical rules in manipulating your writing into something unique is where the beauty lies. It is like using table salt for an infinite number of recipes. Grammar, like salt makes things taste better, and that is enough to use it time and time again. If you told me I could only use MY salt for your YOUR limited recipes which you created a couple of centuries ago, you would ignite some hot sauce passion in me I'm afraid.

Let's go to science for a further explanation of my feelings. Grammar, to me, is like the elements in a periodic table. Metaphorically speaking, we want to create explosions with our unique words put together uniquely in poems. We want to use experimentation to achieve new magical compounds. Yes, there are rules in science which I highly respect but I am looking to break the rules to blow up the laboratory of a brain, not just observe others staring into a petri dish of one.

I understand that sonnets, haikus and limericks may be useful strategies to show-off your acceptance into an intellectual community, but in reality, life throws hard things at some people that is more intense that a page poem that is edited to death, could ever be. For some people, performance poetry is not about recognition, it is about getting yourself from trauma to practically functional.

I would say trauma affects an individual on many levels, maybe even far in the future, when your memory has forgotten about a grievance but your soul and body hasn't. Person-centered counselling is where someone sits and discusses whatever comes into their mind with a counsellor to reflect your own words. The reasoning behind the therapy according to Carl Rogers, is we, as humans have all the foundations within ourselves that we need for complete healing. What is so different between that and a free-write poem with the counsellor being an inert pen?

This is not about halting learning, most definitely not, in my opinion. It is about discovering voice, which is a lot rarer but consequently comes from all that you have learnt. An opinion of learning the rules of poetry just to break the rules of poetry, is like building a house only to knock it down again. Why not just work on building the perfect house that you want in the first place? It seems to me you would get a much more fulfilling product in a shorter space of time.

Once you know what you want, the road is a lot shorter. I have learnt.

I feel the art of writing, like business, cooking and science, needs innovation and discovery alongside the tried and tested methods. You are likely to fail at times, but you also have the ability to create a piece that is so unique and explosive when you choose to throw out the textbook, that it may just be worth being labelled a rebel. Where would we be without innovation? Definitely not with iPhone in hand writing all those beautiful sonnets.

It was exceptionally flattering a few weeks ago being recognised by a women at a party for a performance, but interesting not by name (or my big hair) but by my the outfit and the poem's content. I would say it was refreshing actually for labels like my name not to matter but the performance to shine for it's own merit. I wonder if one day we could do the same regarding poems. Instead of the esteemed title of the established, traditional structure that makes the poem so brilliant, it will be the content and how it is was dressed up in an outfit of modern mixed prints, where you do a double turn walking down the street, but somehow it really works regardless of structure. It's just so you. And no one else can rock that look.

Like I said, I have the utmost respect for those who think very differently to me on this subject, yet I also have respect for my own feelings regarding this matter too.