Searching For Love... Poem by Sacha Wise

I learnt love from the guy who loved me

I didn't want to be with him

    But still he loved me

I learnt heart break from the guy whom I loved

He didn't want to be with me

    But still I loved him

I learnt hostility from the guy I married

I learnt patience

    But he said he had never loved me

I will stop searching for love in basements

under stairs, in cupboards and on book shelves

Where instead all I find is dust and cobwebs

   and empty space. I will start recognising 

love when I see it and not fall for it's easier, 

uglier sister, who is more like 

a well meaning brother

     I will find you 

Or you will find me

Because like love 

we are meant to be together

I will 

one day 

love you

'Don't Trust Electric Sparks' Poem

I like you in a way that is undefinable so please don't try define me

My body getting close to you is just an electric spark going wild

It means NOTHING, I just can't control it

Your smile may mean everything but your love says make an effort

I can't hear the sharps and flats of love notes in your voice anymore

I am deaf to hearing anything about love

So please stop tuning me like your going mad for me to hear them cause I can't

Fantasies, even good ones, should be only that as you never use contraception

and they don't create BABIES

So stop all exercise, cause your muscles can't carry my problems

I prefer myself disliking your stubborn streak saying it's too much like me

Keep distance between our cities

To stop me from giving up everything I have ever owned to go live in yours

LIke ripped paper hats and popped party balloons on a hungover morning

We were never meant to be FOREVER

Your just a flicker of light for someone else's night time apartment

I have a power cut in my bedroom but I need a more permanent solution

Which we can never be so I am sorry….

I still think about you when I go to sleep and dream about you when my brain stops thinking

But our dreams don't go far enough to meet my needs or to stop us both being paralyzed 

This Is A Poem I Wrote From A Memory I Had Today

Broken From Birth

Being heart broken the way to healing

Women choose men for this reason

Decision made from broken homes

left on cold conciousness of stone

and forgotten

Until a woman in love remembers 

all the maternal faces he has known 

And guides his mouth towards hers

as she sucks in his pain as her own

poison

Trust her to also go

She looks just like the other women

so he pushes her

She falls

She is not safe in his crumbling tower

She can't be stronger than his mother 

He blames but she no longer listens

to his pain

His moans sound the same as

ice-cream falling out of undeveloped hands

and tantrums 

throwing her to the ground

What It Is To Care For Someone Regardless If They Care Back

Life has thrown some rocks at me

But I know I should be the bigger person and look at my scars like I am lucky that they are only that. 

Still I wonder.

What it is to care about someone very deeply. 

It is almost like you can't get me vex (Trini term for angry) unless I care for you in a deep way. You cannot get me in a flood of tears unless I know your worth me crying over you with them. 

There are some people I meet on my journey that I want to carry with me wherever I go because they are genuinely nice but due to practicalities it may not possible. 

I think I should start a 'nice people' appreciation club, that way regardless of if they come with me or not on my journey, they can know that I appreciate them and want good things in their life. 

Feelings are momentary (and can sometimes be wrong) but appreciation of something or someone lasts a lifetime. 

The people who I feel are on my 'I will appreciate you for a lifetime list'... I feel like it doesn't matter how much time has gone by since we last spoke, seen each other or the stuff that's happened between us. If you are still that same person with the same heart, then will appreciate you and time will have no bearings of that. 

I must say it is hard to get on this list, but it's even harder to get off. 

You don't have to speak to me often, or ever, but if you ever do again then it would be like no time has passed. I will fight to keep you in my life but life has a funny way of causing ripples and making some people float away. 

It's ok. Then you will be in my dreams and the piece you gave me would be in my ambitions and as I reach my goals I will be getting closer to you and to what your presence made me.

Those you who are still here I appreciate 'us' greatly. Things you can do when you have a friend by your side.

I suppose this post is to my friends. All of you who are still mine and those who are someone else's.