Love? Or Not To Love?

I don't know which one is worse

You lying that you love me.... or me believing you

I don't like saying the word love

Because it reminds me of all those times I was unloved

Love is sometimes a term used to hide the fact you don't love yourself

Xmas Joy and Tears

Happy Boxing Day!

I missed out saying Happy Christmas because I was too busy cooking Christmas dinner and eating it along with Christmas pudding. Life is sweet.

I had a good one though. I am in Wales with my little brother who would have spent it on his own if I didn't come down so I thought why not make the trip.

I have dedicating today and tomorrow to poetry as it's like I have been writing non-stop but not spending time editing my poetry enough which makes me feel like I have written nothing. So that's the plan.

I have realized that being alone when I want to be alone is the most fulfilling feeling but being alone when I don't want to be alone is pure torture.

Poem: Tipsy Love

First edit of a poem. And maybe the last.

I only call you when I'm tipsy
Does that mean I'm tipsy over you
Or just a drunken fool
My words have turned into slurred words
Just to prove to you I'm versatile
I can do normal
And falling over you
It's better than falling in love with you
Your so far away I can't tell the difference
But all I know is I want you close
Even though there is an age gap
Between my heart and your heart
But we share the same soul
So lets share a whisky kiss
Over blues jazz bliss
And continue dancing even when the music stops
Into our bedrooms where our clothes come off
I wish you were as into me as I am into you
That way this wouldn't have to be just a dream
But you and me in reality

Peek into my life

Hello World!

This is the first step out into the world unknown. This year has bought much understanding, purpose, pain and distractions. I thought I would like to share my life with others to bring myself to a better understanding with myself.

Who am I?

That is a deep question.

I don't think I know yet but I am discovering all the time. I need a bit more time to answer that question. But I do know I am a biracial female of 26 who has lived in London, Nottingham and for a brief period Trinidad. I love traveling, reading and writing.

Which brings me to blogging.

I want to share my most personal experiences with you with words that are free for me to type but expensive in the risk of putting myself on show to the world. Scars, warts and all.

I think without this risk I won't grow as much. And I need growth quick. I think a lot of us need it because otherwise you will be fulfilled. If you are fulfilled then truly I envy you.

But if you are like me trying to discover truths and meaning in life and you go along then join me let do it together.

I want this blog to be a combination of love, inspirations, healing and understanding of ourselves. So lets see where this takes us :)

Love Sach xxx