Who Inspires You???

It is great to be a woman. Just saying. #Gratitude

So Thoughts What Are You Thinking????

So it is estimated that we have between 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts per day (with statistics from the National Science Foundation), depending upon your level of creativity, personal and professional problem solving skills, your career and whether you tend to be a thinker. That averages out to approximately a thought every 2.5 seconds if you take the average person from this statistic who thinks 36,000 thoughts per day.

The question is, what do our thoughts look like right now? Boris Johnson's hair? A supermodel? The Apprentice boardroom? Your gloomy shadow? We have to identify where we are at mentally to order to correctly assess ourselves and make a change if necessary. Also, how are our thoughts affecting us as a whole person? Is there a pattern of negative thought which leads to more negative consequences in your life? Like a building a elaborate mansion in the middle of a busy motorway road?

There are serious mental conditions that can lead to racing thoughts, anxiety, consistent pessimism and depressive thoughts, which are sometimes difficult to control. From research on this issue, people have said helpful ways to combat this is often the 'Stop Technique' which is saying to yourself, "STOP", out loud until the persistent thoughts stops completely. Another technique that is used is to have reaffirming and positive quotes around you to reaffirm good thinking patterns.

I have a personal opinion, that we all need type of this intervention in all of our thinking patterns to some extent regardless of the severity of the impact of our thoughts on our daily lives. The reason I believe this strongly is I have recognised an overall positive change in my life since I have been very cautious regarding which thoughts I let enter into myself, to move the furniture around and set up home. So we should all be halting negative thoughts and reaffirming good thoughts to some extent.

I challenge many thoughts which come into my head in a very practical and logical way like, "Ok negative thought interesting you think that, why? What evidence do you have to prove that? What contrary evidence is there?" I don't let my negative thoughts get away with much, they have to be on trial, whilst the positive ones can run free in my head and they can have as much fun as they want. If the negative thought have fought hard to be there, and has given good evidence to win the case then I only let it stick around to propel me forward to become better next time, and only draw upon its nastiness only when necessary and when I have a plan of action to not let this justified negative thought win again.

It is about being honest with yourself but humans do have a tendency to dwell in the pit of despair of negative thoughts instead of celebrating achievements along the way. It is estimated that 70-80% of our thoughts on a daily basis are negative. So that is completely unfair to the good and uplifting thoughts that want to carry us through the day to make us think about a better future for ourselves.

Recently, I have had a few people comment on my confidence and how I can help them improve there's, so that got me thinking about the main things that I can attribute a healthy confidence. One thing that stood out most upon reflection is the way I speak to myself. I give myself permission to say very nice things to myself often. I know I am British and I am not supposed to say this and instead I should put myself down constantly, but really I know doing this definitely does not improve confidence. So I celebrate who I am on a daily basis and strengthen my positive thoughts by reading inspirational stories, books and quotes about the human experience. I apply them in my life where I can and I live with a smile and a very loud laugh whenever I can manage it.

Some days are hard regardless. That I do understand, but still don't let negative thoughts win your whole mind like it is a shrewd lawyer that tricked you into signing a life sentence. It is lying, tear up that contract and write yourself into who you want to be. Know that crying only happens for a short while so you can appreciate joy so much more. There is always something positive that comes out of the most negative situations. So focus on that, starting with being positive at least 50% of the time, maybe going unto to 70-80%. Now that would be a nice, peaceful mansion to live in.

“Always focus on the front windshield and not the review mirror.” 
― Colin Powell

“Our way of thinking creates good or bad outcomes.” 
― Stephen Richards

“Reality is a projection of your thoughts or the things you habitually think about.” 
― Stephen Richards

“Sometimes we focus so much on what we don't have that we fail to see, appreciate, and use what we do have!” 
― Jeff Dixon

Here are some of my genuine thoughts I tell myself on some days:

References
http://www.nsf.gov
http://verysmartgirls.com/mental-clarity-and-calmness/choose-your-thoughts-well/
http://www.anxietyguru.net/how-to-stop-racing-thoughts/
http://www.sentientdevelopments.com/2007/03/managing-your-50000-daily-thoughts.html
http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/focus

The Artisan Workshop with Indigo Williams

In my last article I wrote about self-development and today I want to be specific about my latest self-development journey. 

I decided I wanted to develop my writing skills in regards to poetry so my writing can be authoritative without having to be performed to bring life to it's words. I wanted to cultivate my writing to bring out it's own power on the page. I had high aspirations for them to create the same elegance and refinement in poems I have wept over in crumpled books. I wanted to finally make the transition from writing selfishly with the purpose of venting to make myself feel (a lot) better, to writing for an audience which invites them in to share these feelings alongside me. 

I was hungry for knowledge regarding the theoretical skill of writing poetry.

So I asked around.... "Where do I go to become a better writer?" 

I kept hearing the name Indigo Williams, and if I was serious about understanding the technical side of poetry then that was the person I needed to go to, and luckily for me she was having a workshop coming up in the next few weeks in London. 

I was excited. 

Here is some of her work so you can have a taster before I go on... Indigo William's Poem: Dark Black

So now you understand. 

Indigo Williams was one of the first spoken word artists I most admired when I first learnt about the art of spoken word poetry only a few short months ago. I would see a chemistry lesson's worth of colours being exploded within fire as she would perform on her YouTube videos. She had something mysterious to me about the way she put words together and I could not miss the opportunity to be in a workshop with her and unravel first hand what made her writing so powerful. 

I live in Nottingham. The course was four weeks in London with one week at an open mic at Come Rhyme With Me - (by the way an unmissable night of spoken word in London). I didn't care, I just had to find a way to be there for every session or miss out on something great. In my eyes this was the same as travelling long distances for true love, for which people would suffer intense rainstorms, exhaustion and spend their life savings, just to get to their love's front door. Except this time my "love" was poetry, as taught by Indigo. London was the rainstorm and I exaggerated a bit on the exhaustion and life savings by watching too many romantic movies. 

But the question really is.... how far would you go for self-development?

Apparently I was willing to 1288 miles and this included the journeys back and forth over the five weeks. Now, if you are sitting at home and your self-development journey involves you going 10 minutes down the road, then you really have no excuse not to go!

My gut told me that this journey would be valuable and I am glad I listened. A whole new world opened up to me where dead poets, and those that were very much alive, started talking to me from the page telling me about structure, style and meanings in their poems. Between sessions, the Poetry Library in South Bank beckoned me in also out of the rainstorms (and often snow) and told me to keep warm from all the knowledge and experience these books had to offer me. I would get my list of books out that Indigo suggested to the class to read and I would get lost again in middle of London. 

In the sessions we dissected poems like dead bodies. I use this smilie because we had to say something interesting about ourselves in the first session with Indigo and I said that I used to dissect dead bodies for my anatomy class for my science degree which always gets an interesting response from people (...big up King's College, Biomedical Sciences class of 2008!) So I feel this smilie is rather fitting for this strange reason. 

Back to the point. Indigo's class was possibly poetry habit changing, like when you realise you are an addict and need help to break your old addictions, my hand is broken now to my old poetry habits. I now will read every new poem with a suspicious eye, knowing some poems would be bad influences on me to try to entice me back to my old way of thinking but I will laugh at those poems and move forward to better poems with a promise and a future. Now I am able to analyse and break each poem down knowing how to interpret a poem and the elements and stylistic qualities it used to create it's central voice.

After all of this intense learning, I must admit that the secret highlight for me was listening to Indigo's theories of life and looking at how her brain puts together the different truths of life into one thought provoking sentence. All I am saying is that you need to get yourself down to Indigo's next set of workshops to experience this yourself. 

If you are a poet you will learn from someone who is experienced and willing to give you all of her knowledge for the minimal price of the cost of the workshop. If you are not a poet then after Indigo's Artisan workshops you will become one. Any human being will benefit greatly from her life lessons. You will leave feeling awe-inspired and either not want to leave the building when she is still in there to share her passion of poetry or be scrambling for the nearest pen and paper to start writing for your next class.

Find all about Indigo from her website: http://indigowilliams.co.uk
She post a lot of insightful posts on her Tumbler: http://thestufflifeismadeof.tumblr.com
She is very opinionated on her Twitter: https://twitter.com/Indigowilliams
...and check out her videos on YouTube for some more good stuff. 

Self-development: How Much Do You Want It?

Self development is the key the success, fulfilment and worth. 

As a person you are either developing yourself in a direction that is moving you forward or you are being stagnant and moving backwards, losing the muscle memory to the skill or talent to which you were potentially gifted. 

"The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather a lack of will."

Vince Lombardi 

"Action is the foundational key to all success."

Pablo Picasso 

The question so often is how badly do you want it and what are you willing to sacrifice in order for you to get what you desire? Focus is extremely important as it is where your thinking and physical energy is being directed at any moment. To achieve goals and ambitions you will need a lot of it focused in that direction. In my own life I recently had to acknowledge that focus takes a lot of discipline and sacrifice as it is not giving into temporary pleasures that do not benefit you or reach you closer to your goal in the long run. This very hard and sometimes it hurts. Whether it be in weight-loss, exercise, education or self-development in any other form. Once you have an actual choice, it's hard to make the right one over the more self-indulgent one. The following video is helpful in illustrating this point as well as being very motivational.

I personally find that one way to keep your self on track regarding focus is to submerse yourself into the activity by visualising the expected outcome every morning, reading inspirational books and quotes regarding the subject matter and allowing your brain to be so filled of that thing that it is unconsciously thinking about the subject matter even when your brain in a relaxed state, coming up with further solutions or motivations on it's own. That helps you to move closer to your desired goal and the expected outcome of success.

This works well for me but of course it is good to get healthy breaks from any action that is your complete focus. You do not want stress to creep in and then for you to become unproductive. I find the best way to overcome this is to build in structured breaks around whatever you are doing. Something that completely takes you away from the task at hand, so away from your computer, the running machine, your books etc. Let it be something that you look forward to that helps you to relax and something that you can consider a treat. A word of warning though, is if you have just come from exercising the best "treat" might not be a tub of ice-cream, so still consider your overall life goals when choosing your treats. For me I much look forward to my green tea breaks which takes me away from my desk and allows me a "treat" which will enhance my mood and focus when I return to my desk again.

When you start to fulfil the goals you have set for yourself then you start to experience fulfilment in that area of your life. You will start to attract people into your life who are on a similar journey and who will appreciate the focus you have towards your goals as they have similar ones towards theirs. Someone who is working towards their goals becomes a very interesting person regardless of the actual goal, be it having an elaborate stamp collection or a becoming a stunt double. Working towards your passions speaks very loudly and is appreciated by the person you are in conversation with as people love to learn about new subjects from a passionate person. There are many people not living according to their passions, as they have accepted what life has given them as opposed to moulding life around their passions. So those who take a risk in life to follow their passions with action and heart, maybe criticised and frowned upon sometimes but in the end they can say that they lived, not just existed.

"When you fully focus your mind, you make others attracted to you."

Toba Beta 

Please leave a comment telling me if you liked this article and if there are any other factors you feel contribute to success from your experience..... I would love to hear from you to be able to enhance myself as well as others who are reading this that are on this same journey. Thanks.

I Can See Straight Though You. Transparency... Good Or Bad???

Honesty hurts.

So does transparency... apparently.

Do you really want to know where you stand with someone?

Do you really want people to know where you stand?

Honestly???

This post was actually supposed to be about another topic but I offended someone in the process of sharing my life. So I thought I would write about the core of the issue.

TRANSPARENCY

I am an awful liar. People always say you can see exactly what I am thinking through the expressions on my face. I remember, my sister would take one look at me and tell by the sly, one-sided twitch that would form a one-sided smile on the corner of my mouth that I am lying. I would only really be lying to myself... cause I definitely couldn't lie to her!

I kind of see lies like the murky waters of the River Thames whilst the truth is the sparkling waters of a Caribbean private beach. The more you lie the more murky you are as a person where people cannot see through you. They are not sure who you are because you cover up the truth so well.

I feel very uncomfortable in murky waters as you never know what undersea creature will creep up and give you a bite on the bum. I like to see what I step into and in the same way I like to see clearly who I connect with. Every true connection you have with someone gives a little piece of you away and takes a little piece of them into you. So it's good to know who you are connecting yourself to.

I have called people "cloudy" in the past for the reason of not knowing who they are, and in the process greatly offending them. I saw cloudiness in them which led me to think they could not be trusted. I suppose that's where the descriptive word, "shady" comes from when describing a person also. Basically, my motto is to stay away from anything that is in the shadows and doesn't want to show you it's true self.

So balancing the darkness of shadiness, we have the light of transparency. Which on the whole I would consider to be a very good trait in someone that I met for the first time. For me transparency is potentially the beginning of a great friendship. Although lessons of life show me that transparency can also have it's negative side effects also. Nothing in this life is simple.

My very wonderful friend got offended with me for sharing valuable wisdom which had taken years to figure out and refine painstakingly... and I told everyone I knew in a matter of moments.

I personally choose to share what I learn with everyone I meet along the way, and on this blog but that does not mean that everyone else who share's wisdom and knowledge with me wants it to be shared also. I can truly appreciate that.

I can't even claim that knowledge and wisdom is free reign for everyone to hear and benefit from if someone specifically lets you in to a secret to benefit you alone because they care about you and your progress.

But I wanted the world to benefit... so I blabbed. Not consciously. I did it without even thinking about it. Still, I am so used to sharing everything I learn that is new and exciting on my journey that if it can benefit others around me, then usually I would shout it out.

There is a difference in moral code.

One of us views the world as a competition and one views the world as one big sleepover where everyone tells each other their secrets.

None are necessarily wrong. Both could be wrong.

There are definitely pitfalls to both. I may share a piece of knowledge that may lead a competitor (i.e. someone who is not working for my best interests) to surpass me or gain negative knowledge about me. Or I may hold back a piece of information that may have greatly helped someone in need to move forward in a positive direction.

Personally, my take on humanity is you will definitely die one day guaranteed, but hopefully what I pass on to others will live on.

So transparency with my knowledge I hope one day when I am gone will serve me well, even if I never surpass the point of my 'competitors'. Although I am a very competitive person, I love a good game of table tennis, but I feel you can't be competitive in comparing your life to others. The two are utterly incomparable, yet so completely valuable individually.

There is no handbook and set of rules on how to live your life. I wouldn't want anyone else to ever feel like they have lost in comparisons they make to others because we all have the opportunity to be winners in the lives we create for ourselves. We all live for different moments, from different experiences to create incomparable but uniquely special lives. It is great in my opinion when we can share this with others openly and honestly.

I want to be running a different race where the journey of the race mattered more that the outcome.

I will be happy then as I would have definitely won that race.

Don't Despise The Creative Process: Live It.

Frustration can be like a garbage truck pouring out 2 week old stench unto your work. It's hard to get any work done. 

The way we wind ourselves up as creative people all stems from the voices inside our head. I believe you have this creative, "good" voice which tells you the sky is no limit, only art to paint and stuff like that. Whilst it's arch enemy is the more sinister, "bad" voice which tells you every thing you produce is utter trite, so please continue to beat yourself up or even better just give up! With these voices floating around, maybe it's no wonder creative people scientifically have a higher risk of having a mental illness. But I am not trying to scare you, so please read on....

Many artists struggle, especially in the beginning when they think these two voices are the same and completely infallible at any given moment. So a person goes back and forth, acting on both of these voices at a whim hence causing a lot of confusion with their work and it's purpose. Well, I believe there is a place for both voices but only in the right context. 

In the beginning at the start of the creative process. That "bad" voice will get you into trouble, making you give up before you have even started. We don't want that. We want to give ourselves freedom to move, breathe, express and feel and let it all out, like our disorganised bedrooms. That is the beginning of creativity, just letting it all out and not caring. We love all the stuff in our disorganised bedrooms because it is ours and we know where everything is intimately but maybe others may not be able to appreciate the personal mess you have created in your own bedroom. Maybe they would ask you kindly (or unkindly) to clean it up. 

And that is where we our "bad" voice or even other "bad" voices come in. It may tell you things that hurt and make you upset, but if you can get past defensiveness then maybe you can look at criticism for what it really is... free help to make your piece even better. Awesome! Doesn't seem so bad any more does it? We create lots of messy stuff like children and then we use this "bad" adult voice to refine it's potential and clean up. 

This is the painful process of editing.

When has tidying your room ever been a bad thing that has caused you harm??? No it's a positive thing, that's helpful in making you feel happier and more fulfilled. So this "bad" voice, that is necessary to edit and improve your piece, wants to be turned into a sigh of satisfaction and into a pat on the back that says, "Well done mate, you did well." This can only happen when you view this "bad" voice in a constructive way, listen and then put in all the necessary work. 

Yes, you have to be inspired many times to be creative, but a wise person told me that you need to get to the stage where you are internally creating your own inspiration. It is all about taking control of the creative process and making it work for you. Be the kindest and the harshest person to yourself but in the right context. Then you will see creativity flowing from every source and beyond.

Lastly, it is important not to feel ashamed of your creative process as the negative voice will try to creep in from the start and tell you to hide the piece, throw it away and get as far away from it as possibly because it is rubbish!!! But we don't throw away a new born baby as soon as it is born do we? No, we allow the baby to grow even if they are not fulfilling their life purpose yet, instead we continue to nurture it and have faith that one day it will. 

I have tried to apply this principle to my poetry, by documenting the same poem in the embarrassing early stages and to a more refined (yet, possibly unfinished but I am more happy with) stage. 

Free Write

1st Edit

2nd Edit

I have done this to help myself get over the approval of needing to be perceived as good writer at all times which will only enhance my early stages of creative work. Also I have done this as well so maybe someone who has never considered writing poetry may look at my early piece and think it is possible for them to write something as well, instead of looking at the more developed piece and think it is beyond them, which it is definitely not. We all thought it might of been beyond us at some stage. 

Please comment to any part of this article if you agree or disagree, or if you would like to see more articles like this one up on my blog. Also share this article if you think any of your friends could benefit from reading this.

In the meanwhile, keep listening, learning and being intensely creative!

"Creativity is playing. A child's mind in an adult's body." Sacha Wise

What It Is To Care For Someone Regardless If They Care Back

Life has thrown some rocks at me

But I know I should be the bigger person and look at my scars like I am lucky that they are only that. 

Still I wonder.

What it is to care about someone very deeply. 

It is almost like you can't get me vex (Trini term for angry) unless I care for you in a deep way. You cannot get me in a flood of tears unless I know your worth me crying over you with them. 

There are some people I meet on my journey that I want to carry with me wherever I go because they are genuinely nice but due to practicalities it may not possible. 

I think I should start a 'nice people' appreciation club, that way regardless of if they come with me or not on my journey, they can know that I appreciate them and want good things in their life. 

Feelings are momentary (and can sometimes be wrong) but appreciation of something or someone lasts a lifetime. 

The people who I feel are on my 'I will appreciate you for a lifetime list'... I feel like it doesn't matter how much time has gone by since we last spoke, seen each other or the stuff that's happened between us. If you are still that same person with the same heart, then will appreciate you and time will have no bearings of that. 

I must say it is hard to get on this list, but it's even harder to get off. 

You don't have to speak to me often, or ever, but if you ever do again then it would be like no time has passed. I will fight to keep you in my life but life has a funny way of causing ripples and making some people float away. 

It's ok. Then you will be in my dreams and the piece you gave me would be in my ambitions and as I reach my goals I will be getting closer to you and to what your presence made me.

Those you who are still here I appreciate 'us' greatly. Things you can do when you have a friend by your side.

I suppose this post is to my friends. All of you who are still mine and those who are someone else's. 

How I Came To LOVE The Spoken Word

I literally have just come back from an inspirational day in London with the Nottingham Mouthy Poets sponsoring my travel and the workshop costs at the Roundhouse in Camden.

First of all, I was very excited when I found out that the workshop I was attending was at the Roundhouse in Camden as I had heard a lot of AMAZING things happening in the London poetry scene with poets who first attended a workshop there for a sturdy foundation to later form collectives such as the Roundhouse Poets http://www.roundhouse.org.uk/explore/portfolios/poetry-collective led by the highly regarded Polarbear, who runs poetry workshops for the youth. Friends have commended his talents of being able to draw out their best poetry by any means necessary.

There is another collective formed called 'Early Doors' due to the Roundhouse's unique ability to bring young, creative people together. It was this collective I first saw when I decided spoken word poetry was the path every part if me wanted to explore. It was my birthday and I had this burning desire to attend a poetry evening with beautiful poetry and red wine (my two favourite passions). So I started searching and found this one event that looked AMAZING! It was called "Come Rhyme with Me" at Cottons Restaurant/Bar in Angel and not only did it fulfil my current wish list, it also threw in tempting rum cocktails and a plate of Caribbean food to get the night swinging in the 'Rhum Jungle' Bar. I am Caribbean, so having rum and food in the mix made it an easy sale for me!

I attended with the event with my expectations high yet my experiences of spoken word low. I had been writing in fierce secrecy for years but I was insanely curious about spoken word. But, in all honesty attending "Come Rhyme with Me" made me break free from insecurities that were keeping my poetry in prison. Something was put in me that literally changed, possibly, the course of my life. I was in silence, shocked for the majority of the performances. When my friends asked how I was I enjoying it, I could only give a dumb, silent nod as the words were already taken and put beautifully into stanzas already.

Even how I came to Mouthy Poets stemmed from that night, as I met a spoken word artist from Roundhouse Poets there who kept in contact with me and encouraged me to share my work. He chatted to his friend who currently attends Mouthy Poets in Nottingham to get the details on my behalf and continued to encourage me to attend, even though I was terrified at the time, I did it. I am doing it. And I will do it. So, let's see what happens from here.

Have A Bite First.... Intense Pleasure Later

Some of y'all might not know me but I like to keep my business ting tight.

(London slang- I lived there for too long and it corrupted me)

Anyway I LOVE business the same way women love shoes, presents and chocolate. And like those three things:

1. It keeps you on your toes
2. It always gives you surprises
3. And you finally make it... the taste cannot be sweeter

So anyway my day involved having a well deserved day off work to become indulged in a world where creativity and innovation meets facts and figures in the world of business. 

I went to a business course where I absorbed knowledge to feed my vision in life and make my future as bright as fire burning a passionate soul. 

I love business as it creates in me the differentiation of light that splits my personality into a rainbow of skills to create the streamline vision and beauty of a successful business. 

Business is more about development of yourself than the actual business

I met a pastor along the way who asked me to use my business skills acquired over the years to help assist the church. 

Business is also about giving back to the community

I spoke to a woman on my course who lacked a lot of confidence about her own abilities. I had been there at one time and I fulfilled previous frustrations knowing I was able to help this lady by living through the dark times myself and coming out of the other end with a stronger, clear, more powerful vision.

Business is about being the creating something from your womb

I am going to enjoy living through my business from so many angles. So this is it.... I'm flying into skies of opportunity.

Here's the website of the course in Nottingham if anyone is interested at all. 

http://www.nbv.co.uk/#/seminars/4566816021