'Be That Girl' Poem

Don't let the rhythm 

inside you die

like a dead eyed butterfly

Be a rare, lost, multi-coloured 

gemstone in the sea

surrounded by drops of 

invisible, sweet nothings

Be that girl...

who stuffs too much wisdom

into her purse

beside her lipstick and hair gel 

hoping for a makeover 

of political injustices 

Eat the flavours of success

to give access for the poor

With your voice 

scream 

forgiveness until 

your eyes are sore

Hold open the door

of a compliment 

to let someone beautiful in

Let no trouble reach 

the mind's scaffolding 

Smile, 

because the weight,

is not impossible 

for your holding 

#orangeyourhood #16days

'Broken Window' Micropoem

Poem: The War in Love

To continue of the #16day theme of activism for women who have experienced domestic violence which finishes on 10th Dec, here is another poem I have written...

Love is captivating

A grandeur of irresistible strength

Bars of your bent arms 

Around my glass stomach

Squeezing 

Until each bit of sharpness

Becomes it's own in a rainbow

I'm yours 

Forever

Reflect me

To know love you must know war

Breaking down walls to conquer dreams

In the forgetfulness of sleep

Charge with a battering ram

Into my constructed soft meat

Until there is nothing left but

Surrender

I'm yours 

As I lay helplessly 

On your floor 

Love takes prisoners

Surrounded by muscular men with scars

Who choose their own prisons

And your company

Time has no nights

Torture is optional

So, you choose to scream

I'm yours

Until you die

In his hands

Love is not love without war

Nature's Forgiveness

Here is a poem about the suffering nature has to do and the growth it can go through regardless. Imagine a flower growing from a crack of light in a wall. We have to remember nature can be a killer too, yet nature forgives the predators of the world as their bodies give life to the soil. How much we can learn from nature's profound lessons. 

I will disappear 

and appear 

as a star

I am trodden upon

blood coated blades

Still, I grow

I am despised 

within, metal cold

Still, I snow

I will be 

crawling on my belly

in order to fly

I am suffocating

by thrashing life

Still, I flow

I am moonlight 

drawn to darkness

Still, I glow

I am the end

darkness

the beginning

of death

I kill in order 

to live

I will forgive

the rest

Micropoetry: Face me

We all love parts of people that are ugly.

New Poem. Sometime you can feel so many colours.

Poem: Becoming Sky

The angry, tormented, beautiful sky asks you why...
"Why do you believe in pain, when I give you light again and again? 
Why do you question hope, when I show rainbows after weeping. 
Why is your knowing so hard, when I position stars like an art. 
Why should I know black and blue, when at different perspectives I show hues.
Why do you shut your eyes, instead of plant my sunset in your mind.
Why not become one with I, be emerald wings touching freedom to fly."

'Direction' Poem

Community is sky holding stars
are
Feelings becoming sat navs to souls
of
Love, a snuggled silent winter's night
and
Patience, the mourning of a lost soul
           
Answers, the beginning of another question
include
Pain, not knowing everything
with
Smiles, the end of a uncompleted journey
knowing
Life is a burden of flowers waiting for spring

Laughter when insecurity sings
hates
Brokenness when strength's whispering
and
Beauty lies underneath the ocean
scorns
Jealousy who doesn't know a thing

Friendships, valuable vintage cars
cause
Tears to make art
move
Forward thinking dancing in 50's clothes
our
Loyalty, believing from the start
           
Truth is not written for all to see
breaks
Barriers holding in selfless acts
of
Maturity moulds strong words
needs
Growth to do all of that

#MeWeZeN 'Believe' Movie Premiere

So, I attended my first movie premiere!

I can take none of the credit though. I was there representing this amazing non-profit organisation ZeN who was the sole financial backer to the movie. It was surreal.

Yes, I did see celebrities, but to be honest the people I took a coach down to Manchester who were part of ZeN were more celebrities to me anyway. They were people I celebrate.

They are a group of volunteers who come to meet every month to discuss different ways to help the communities. Whether it be a free coach trip to the seaside for the locals or an inspirational talk in Derby for the aspirational goal achiever. #MeWeZeN is the place to be.

Anyway, we rolled up on the green carpet just for you football fans out there, in our black and white kitted out uniform and had the paparazzi hunt us down (not quite -- but remember I am a creative writer) as we smile for the flashes of limelight.

Even though this was extremely fun, we all knew we were here to put our serious faces on and represent this amazing non-profit organisation ZeN, who is making an impact on the community by genuinely caring about others in a way that makes a difference. Volunteering time to help others realise their own power and to change the world one ZeN project at a time.

As the newest member of the team, as in literally joining the previous Friday, I fell in love with the concept instantaneously: 'Let's all motivate each other to be greater than we ever imagined because we believe we can do great things.' And on that note, the movie 'Believe' about Sir Matt Busby was pretty awesome too -- I highly recommend you go and watch it.

I am not a footy fan. I wear heels - fairly difficult to play football in - but I found out this was not a film about football necessarily but a film about the power of the mind. What you can achieve with the power of focus and sometimes someone taking a chance and believing in you.

That is ZeN.

Get involved like I did. If you know me and like me as a person then you will 100% like ZeN. I offer a friendship-back guarantee. It is a multicultural group who have diverse interests who just love to help others. Jump in.

www.zen411.co.uk   #MeWeZeN

And share the love!

Deborah Stevenson is Having a Pigeon Party With The Mouthy Poets and John Agard

You are all invited this Saturday.

This post is more that just an invite though, it is a review of Deborah Stevenson's new pamphlet called Pigeon Party. She is knows a thing or two about poetry as artistic director/founder of Mouthy Poets and Nottingham University lecturer of Creative Writing.

With all this credentials behind her maybe you would expect her poetry to be stiff and out of touch. Well, in that case you don't know Deborah. She is quite possibly the most animated academic that I know and her poetry reflects grime music, proper English values, Caribbean raves and her East London youth roots.

Deborah cannot be boxed and neither can her poetry, so I won't even try but I would describe reading Deborah's pamphlet as being as energy infused as her on the dance floor. Boy, that woman can dance. She has your brain also moving at pace, completely engrossed in emotive imagery and intensive, urban storytelling.

Quite the Pigeon Party indeed.

I loved the poem Bread Machine Teen. I felt connected to this poem, especially as she mentions the poem being inspired by schoolgirls on the 25 bus. I used to catch that same bus all of the time when I lived near Ilford, so the poem bought back memories of the unripe maturity of these young girls:

'I want a more African bottom.
That's what's missing.
A batty a baby could be propped up on.'

And contrasting that with Quality Street where we get a sense of her parent's heritage:

'Small metal buckets filled with chips proper. Hot and English. Windy cheese and onion cobs sea-wet and salt-dry. Tinned mushy pea sky...'

Her writing style is sophisticated beyond her years. I felt like reading Deborah's pamphlet allowed me to get to know her personal side deeper with Should You Raise Him in the Hood:

'My first son will have dreadlocks
the shade of wheat sheaves - 
stockier than his school blazer
by the time he is fourteen.'

Having worked with Deborah previously I am fully aware how she mulls over every word meticulously to create this uninhibited flow of imagination within the reader's mind. You need to buy and read her pamphlet over and over again to uncover the layers of her personality.

You can't get all of her from a 29 page pamphlet either, you need to see her perform her work. She brings her poetry to life with an expressive face, a captivating pitch, raw unfiltered passion for words and she does actual poems with dancing. Quite a talent!

So come and see her perform this Saturday and the team of Mouthy Poets that are more like a poetic army slowing taking over the world (we currently have taken over Germany with Loewenmouthy!)

We are at the Nottingham Playhouse all day so come and join in with the poetic madness. And make sure you tell Deborah a special thank you for being her bulldozer-self and setting up Mouthy Poets so the rest of us can blossom creatively and so we can have an opportunity to be in hushed silence listening to young people slowly blossom on stage in front of us.

The Next Business Generation Is Lean!

We fought over gut feelings or testing hypotheses.

We fought over harmful chemicals or natural products.

We fought over the failure of the BioCity cafe. 

This is a normal day at the Next Business Generation (#NBGNotts) programme where you put enough strong-minded entrepreneurs into a room, teach us about Lean Innovation principles and then let us batter out the conclusions in the form of disproving each other’s hypotheses, learning why people who bring in packed lunch sandwiches lie on Survey Monkey, and by combining our own experience and insight with learning about each other's market to see if that doesn't spark a new idea within us. 

With our office bases in the Lace Market, BioCity, CleanTech and MedTech buildings, the purpose of this programme is to create businesses that create more jobs in the sectors of digital sciences, clean technology and life science within Nottingham. It is run in conjunction with Denmark company Accelerace, who specialise in supporting innovative start-ups to succeed through Lean Innovation methods, and BioCity who is Nottingham’s success story within their sectors of business innovation and life sciences. 

“The best funded accelerator in the UK”, according to Toby Reid, the director of BioCity when describing this programme. It is also fully backed by the wonderful Nottingham Council, who also sent me on the Nottingham Roosevelt Travelling Scholarship only months earlier - thank you sincerely Nottingham for another wonderful opportunity! As Nick McDonald, a councillor who came in to discuss Nottingham Growth Plan, the initiative behind the programme, was clear in saying, growth in Nottingham is a priority. 

Nottingham right now has many opportunities. There are those in the creative sector with organisations like the Mouthy Poets and other initiatives in the Creative Quarter; the Nottingham Roosevelt Travelling Scholarship for under 30 year olds to pursue a project that benefits Nottingham in the USA for 3 months; and by having a clearly defined economic growth strategy with extensive support for new innovative start-up businesses. I am just plain fortunate that I happen to fit into all of the above categories then -- or even more fortunate that I am based in this vibrant and expansive city of Nottingham!

So, our kick off into the #NBGNotts programme was by a talk by Accelerace CEO, Peter Torstensen, who began sparking off our imaginations by explaining an experiment done on world-class athletes: it showed that 50% of them would take a pill which would kill them in 5 years if they would guarantee to win the Olympics in 4 years! He told us to metaphorically take that pill of this intense determination to succeed, but hopefully don't die.

He also gave us his impressive statistics of the start-up company survival rate being 94% when going through their rigorous start-up programme at Accelerace. BioCity has shown similarly impressive statistics of 91% survival rates of start-up businesses over 11 years. According to Start-Up Donut, there are statistical claims of more than half of the business in the UK failing their first year and 90% not even making two years. So, what is the difference between these innovative business being highly successful whilst in the UK tried and tested business are terribly failing? 

At this stage, I would say validating assumptions and learning.

The value of the #NBGNotts programme lies in a simple, yet, effective practical process called Lean Innovation that is used for innovative technology start-ups in Silicon Valley. Imagine bringing entrepreneurship under strict scientific ruling through rigorous experiments to be able to test and evaluate the validity of your idea before you steam ahead into investing, creating and prematurely expanding. Imagine finding the customer and letting them show you what is of most value before you define the product you create. Imagine learning all of this under one roof? Welcome to #NBGNotts!

Day two: we spent our day challenging each other as entrepreneurs to become rigorous scientists. As one of our dynamic speakers and coaches, Aamir Butt said, “We are learning the art of writing an hypotheses in the science of entrepreneurship.” We were presenting our ideas with the encouragement to change them completely once we get solid results that disprove our hypotheses, and were strongly advised to rip up our well written business plans as they are just words, not measurable and provable action. The coaches are so futuristic in their vision that they say business plans are archaic as they described successful entrepreneurs as being in a paradigm shift where quick cycles of failure and learning are the key.

It is such an innovative programme for the business world and it is right on our doorstep here in our city of Nottingham. On the Next Business Generation programme we are working with the most informed and talented coaches regarding this newly articulated, but tried and tested process of Lean Innovation.

So, I predict Nottingham may become the Silicon Valley of the UK. 

That is my hypothesis to be tested and falsified. 

(Note: Ok coaches, I know this hypothesis is not specific enough, numerical, actually written to be testable in a measurable, objective way ...but it is imagery for the purpose of this article so just this one time let me off!)

Blue Ivy Has Black Hair: Topic of Change.org Petition

The whole world is in shock!

This petition came out on Change.org:

"As a woman who understands the importance of hair care. It's disturbing to watch a child suffering from the lack of hair moisture. The parents of Blue Ivy. Sean Carter A.K.A Jay-Z and Beyoncé has failed at numerous attempts of doing Blue Ivy Hair. This matter has escalated to the child developing matted dreads and lint balls. Please let's get the word out to properly care for Blue Ivy hair."

She claims it was a joke. Well, no one is laughing.

A woman from Brooklyn, started this petition and I don't even want to mention her name as I don't approve of getting fame for doing stupid things; it gives rise to more stupidity. The woman in question still stands by what she did and even tries to belittle her actions as humorous, which has unfortunately has led over 4600 followers signing the same apparently 'hilarious' petition on Change.org:

Is it that Blue Ivy is the daughter of mega famous parents, Beyonce and Jay-Z, and that gives the public the right to raise her as if she is their own? Is it that she is a little girl and according to history her hair should be perfectly in place at all times to be respectable? Or lastly, is it that black, natural, uncombed hair is a sore sight and is of great offence to the general public, especially to the black woman in Brooklyn who started the petition.

I have been to Brooklyn and sat in their hair shops, and the most beautiful thing about Brooklyn is seeing the diversity of expression through unique textures weaved into colourful hairstyles. Although, the impression I got was that the emphasis was maybe too much on getting your hair 'done', as opposed to just letting it be. The same could be said for London also, where at one time a few years ago as a student, I was in Peckham and counted that I was the only female in Primark with my own hair on my head!

Choice is admirable. We can choose who we want to be by changing our hairstyles, but judgement on natural hair is self-hatred and this petition is plain shocking, so don't pass this off as a joke as most truth is revealed through jest. The woman in question has actually admitted to having natural hair herself, yet she continues to describe Blue Ivy's hair as, "developing matted dreads and lint balls."

As a mixed race female who loves to wear an afro, I have endured ridicule by certain individuals within the black community, who make comments in the local Caribbean shop like, "How do you comb that hair!?" To which my reply, very tongue in cheek, is, "With a comb!" In truth, due to the texture of my hair I choose to condition my hair several times a week but comb my hair only once a week, as detangling it eradicates all the beautiful spirals I so much enjoy. But, I won't let them know that down the Caribbean shop.






























It seems ignorance is in our own race, regarding our own hair, which is inexcusable. There are black and mixed race women who have never even see the texture of their own hair due to continuous perming so no wonder seeing Blue Ivy's hair is such a shock. She is an education for many; maybe we need to bring along a woman with an afro into schools, just for the youth to touch and comb through so they are not victim to this same ignorance?

At the same time, I understand why some women chose to perm or use a weave as it can save a lot of time and frustration. The real, hard facts are it takes a lot of time to care for natural hair, afro or not. So, when we do go natural, we should be supporting each other with high fives, really cool YouTube communities and Facebook groups like Contemporary Natural Hair  because it is time-consuming to maintain.

Obviously, there are many of us who support each other. Yet, there are some who despise their heritage so much that they make jokes at our hair's expense. I wonder if the petitioners in question would ever target some of our legendary greats such as Bob Marley and accuse him of having, "matted dreads and lint balls". How offensive to my family who come from Trinidad and Tobago, the home of dreadlocks alongside many other neighbouring Caribbean islands.

It hurts. When I see such hatred for a part of my heritage that has already endured so much pain. Now, we are reliving slavery and oppression by calling each other by the N-word and separating good hair from and bad hair, which all stems from white supremacy. As sad as it is, if Blue Ivy's hair formed perfect ringlets which fell around her face, I am sure there would be no petition and Beyonce and Jay-Z would not be implied to be bad parents.

One woman wrote on the petition:

"Because no child whose mom spends thousands on her hair (monthly) should live life looking like a sheep!"

I don't see Blue Ivy on stage singing, 'Crazy in Love' shaking her little bum. Blue Ivy's only job is to be a two year old. She should be allowed to be that two year old, because at that age she does not care what her hair looks like. And, what Beyonce does with her hair is her business, literally, but personally I have respect for her not putting a perm into a two year old's hair.

Women, like this need to think carefully what they are actually trying to imply when they disapprove of a toddler's hair the way it grows out of their scalp. What message are you sending to all the little girls who look like Blue Ivy? What are you saying to their fragile self-esteem about their innate beauty?

We should not as a community be so judgemental towards each other about how we choose to wear our glorious hair. It is the most versatile hair in the world and it should be celebrated with twists, pressing it, plaiting it, dreading it and leaving it to puff into an afro, with acceptance and joy. We should be celebrating what our hair represents and that is our versatility as a culture with so may stunning shades of skin and strengthening strands of roots that knit us into one.

Lyric Lounge

3rd July - I will be performing poems but not break dancing. 

The Love Disappearing Act

You are not here anymore.

Our kisses are melted snow on my window

Your fingers are empty poles with the flags takes down
Your neck is a half finished hotel overlooking the sea in Malta
Your toes are the pebbles kicked away by children
Your chest is still a lion's, just a retired one
Your spine is a falling headstand after just 4 seconds
Your kindness is still tact in the crease of your elbow

But, your hug is a broken umbrella

Your love is a tiring hike, I am still willing to climb
Your legs are an emergency exit in a blazing fire
Your tongue is still the sky scattered among the stars

I still look for it at night

Your shoulders are flowery shopping bags for life
Your stomach is an untouched, silent golden bay
Your skin is my crumpled silk pyjamas
Your lips are London office workers on the tube at 8am
Your mind is two fast trains crashing together
Your voice is the silence between leaves of a wise grand tree

You are not here anymore.

Maya Angelou: The Now Free Bird

I am walking around the house trying to make my body do something to give my mind time to catch up with the fact that Maya Angelou has passed away. 

It has been 25 minutes since I found out on Facebook and reposted quotes on Twitter and expressed my grief but somehow that does not seem enough for such a magnificent woman. 

I should be in bed but I don't think I can sleep now so I am going to talk about Maya like we were on a first name basis with each other. The amount of times I cradled her book, 'I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings', to sleep it is like we were. 

Maya the woman who was the flamboyant fashionable scarf across many modern women's shoulders, also had the ability to keep you warm under the musings of truth from the soul, with a dash of inspiration and a wicked smile. 

The full essence of a woman. 

All of the above, but defined by none.

The most powerful impact upon me that she had was the way she spoke about serious issues like child molestation in a powerfully poetic way that leaves your heart in her hands forever, so you can then use your hands to rub away the dirt. 

 Larger than her writing though was her purpose. Her purpose to enlighten, uplift and inspire was achieved every day in her life throughout many continents of the world. The whole world is mourning this woman because her light was so bright, she had a little bit left for us all to share. 

Her impact regarding female empowerment is immeasurable. How many young girls and women picked up a pen because of her? I know I did. 

The perception of Maya by the world is like the perception of an oak tree to a freed bird. 

Whenever I thought about the probability of getting winkles on my face, my mind would switch like a bright light to Maya. I would start thinking according to standard of Maya...

Older = more grace

Older = more eloquence

Older = more creativity

Older = more influence
Older = more beauty

It is better to be older she would have me believe. Then, I would carry that smile of hers and struct my stuff like my young age didn't matter.

She will be the woman who will always be on my mind and her influence will be at the end of my pen. So, I will leave you now with my favourite poem of all time, 'Still I Rise' by the great Maya Angelou. 

You may write me down in history

With your bitter, twisted lies,

You may tread me in the very dirt

But still, like dust, I'll rise.

Does my sassiness upset you? 

Why are you beset with gloom? 

'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells

Pumping in my living room.

Just like moons and like suns,

With the certainty of tides,

Just like hopes springing high,

Still I'll rise.

Did you want to see me broken? 

Bowed head and lowered eyes? 

Shoulders falling down like teardrops.

Weakened by my soulful cries.

Does my haughtiness offend you? 

Don't you take it awful hard

'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines

Diggin' in my own back yard.

You may shoot me with your words,

You may cut me with your eyes,

You may kill me with your hatefulness,

But still, like air, I'll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you? 

Does it come as a surprise

That I dance like I've got diamonds

At the meeting of my thighs? 

Out of the huts of history's shame

I rise

Up from a past that's rooted in pain

I rise

I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,

Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.

Leaving behind nights of terror and fear

I rise

Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear

I rise

Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,

I am the dream and the hope of the slave.

I rise

I rise

I rise.  

So I say goodnight. 

Who Inspires You???

It is great to be a woman. Just saying. #Gratitude

10 Reasons Why I Am Grateful Today

We keep skipping over the important, little details of life like a scratched, same old routine record. We find it so easy to delight in what went wrong with our day. 

Today is different, I am share the reasons why I have an attitude for gratitude today…

1. My room when I wake up is perfectly heated for my physiological body. I am like a modern day Goldilocks with an afro, not too hot, not too cold.

2.I have an abundance of clothes to wear of different styles, so much so that I can catch up to a new “me” every day.

3. Food flows into my cupboards and then into my stomach, without much resistance.

4. I don’t have to walk hours for water, or for anything else for that matter except for self-inflicted exercise which I sometimes don’t mind self-inflicting upon myself.

5. I have instant access to pretty much any news story worldwide or the video of Solange kicking JayZ (…that’s when this access starts to get less desirable)!

6. I have very pretty bedsheets with birds and flowers on them. That makes me insanely happy.

7. I have found love a few times in my lifetime and I can look back on those moments and glow like a firefly near a switched on bulb.

8. My friends are seriously good for me like the foundations of the world’s biggest Whole Foods (I think that is in Bowery, New York).

9. Communication is so easy, I don’t have to use the payphone, fumble with change or use pigeon post (yes, there was such an historical thing).

10. I have the ability to smile every second of every day and right now I am listening to Gabrielle ’Sunshine’ so I am definitely using my abilities wisely.

What are you grateful for today? Do your own list and see how much happier it makes you. 

Preschool Poem

Poems are found between jagged, soul-bearing rocks

and rusty scissor spliced memories from preschool.

Poems come because you can't use those old fables

to create a statue of how you should see yourself.

So you re-create a memory insisting it sticks

a more pleasing picture onto your palms for future reference.

Writer's Rant Of Frustrations and Traumas

I write because that is my expression of self. A writer only writes to structure sentences out of the madness of words. It is a form of sanity within a crazy community of life. It is a counselling session with the only person listening possibly being behind another computer or curled up in bed about to fall asleep ...so they may not be listening at all, but still you continue to write. Like possession. Question is how much structure is too much structure, once the work flows out of you?

My creative process is first I talk to myself out loud to try to understand what I am trying to say clearly, before putting finger to computer type pad. The ideas are never formed fully until they come out of my mouth, then the words have the freedom to reject themselves or to commit themselves to a page. Whichever course of action it takes is fine with me as long as I am allowed to speak and write with an inhibited flow. Once I reach this point, I put the writing back into my mouth and chew a bit more until the work is easily digestible for others.

Then, at that point, it is advised by some to squeezed the work into a uniform worn by many, for it to be recognisable, in the form of traditional poetical structures.

Personally, the day I put my writing under rules and restrictions is the day I stop writing, I believe. The world already has so many rules and restrictions regarding social interaction, romantic relationships and expectations of the future, do I really want to put rules on my writing like a religious, non-personal text? Where does the freedom come from within these strict rules? People say try the strict rules first and then comment. I say it is like trying out marriage just so you are able to participate in the arguments.

It can be said that writing in itself is a set of grammatical rules. I would argue that the flexibility using the grammatical rules in manipulating your writing into something unique is where the beauty lies. It is like using table salt for an infinite number of recipes. Grammar, like salt makes things taste better, and that is enough to use it time and time again. If you told me I could only use MY salt for your YOUR limited recipes which you created a couple of centuries ago, you would ignite some hot sauce passion in me I'm afraid.

Let's go to science for a further explanation of my feelings. Grammar, to me, is like the elements in a periodic table. Metaphorically speaking, we want to create explosions with our unique words put together uniquely in poems. We want to use experimentation to achieve new magical compounds. Yes, there are rules in science which I highly respect but I am looking to break the rules to blow up the laboratory of a brain, not just observe others staring into a petri dish of one.

I understand that sonnets, haikus and limericks may be useful strategies to show-off your acceptance into an intellectual community, but in reality, life throws hard things at some people that is more intense that a page poem that is edited to death, could ever be. For some people, performance poetry is not about recognition, it is about getting yourself from trauma to practically functional.

I would say trauma affects an individual on many levels, maybe even far in the future, when your memory has forgotten about a grievance but your soul and body hasn't. Person-centered counselling is where someone sits and discusses whatever comes into their mind with a counsellor to reflect your own words. The reasoning behind the therapy according to Carl Rogers, is we, as humans have all the foundations within ourselves that we need for complete healing. What is so different between that and a free-write poem with the counsellor being an inert pen?

This is not about halting learning, most definitely not, in my opinion. It is about discovering voice, which is a lot rarer but consequently comes from all that you have learnt. An opinion of learning the rules of poetry just to break the rules of poetry, is like building a house only to knock it down again. Why not just work on building the perfect house that you want in the first place? It seems to me you would get a much more fulfilling product in a shorter space of time.

Once you know what you want, the road is a lot shorter. I have learnt.

I feel the art of writing, like business, cooking and science, needs innovation and discovery alongside the tried and tested methods. You are likely to fail at times, but you also have the ability to create a piece that is so unique and explosive when you choose to throw out the textbook, that it may just be worth being labelled a rebel. Where would we be without innovation? Definitely not with iPhone in hand writing all those beautiful sonnets.

It was exceptionally flattering a few weeks ago being recognised by a women at a party for a performance, but interesting not by name (or my big hair) but by my the outfit and the poem's content. I would say it was refreshing actually for labels like my name not to matter but the performance to shine for it's own merit. I wonder if one day we could do the same regarding poems. Instead of the esteemed title of the established, traditional structure that makes the poem so brilliant, it will be the content and how it is was dressed up in an outfit of modern mixed prints, where you do a double turn walking down the street, but somehow it really works regardless of structure. It's just so you. And no one else can rock that look.

Like I said, I have the utmost respect for those who think very differently to me on this subject, yet I also have respect for my own feelings regarding this matter too.

Snowstorms, Delayed Flights and T-shirts

Currently I am delayed. I am in Brooklyn, stuck in a snow storm. My flight out of the USA has been delayed for two days. It is not the end of the world. It is also not the end of my trip, it seems.

I am doing a bit of reflection today with the New Year coming in and everything, thinking about life. How things can happen that are out of your control that disappoint you that lead to circumstances that amaze you. For example, this Nottingham Roosevelt Travelling Scholarship, if I was a woman who had not experience domestic violence then I would not be on this scholarship researching domestic violence and the role of creativity. 

It makes you think maybe you should be grateful for the tough things that happen in your life because it is quite possible, it is shaping your character for tomorrow. If you become an eternal student, the lessons come along and that may just include bad weather for a season. 

From the women, I have spoken to who have experienced domestic violence and didn't returned to their partner, I found there was some form of finding your voice that occurred after being silenced for a long time. 

The arts were crucial in this process as it allowed the women to get to the core of what she was feeling and then express their pent up frustration, anger and disappointments that so often come with a partner being emotionally or physically violent. It was more than the process of releasing through tears or talking, but the process of creation that was most empowering to these women. 

Instead of tearing down an old house with nothing in place of it, these women were able to build a brand new house that they no longer had to escape, but to find safety in at last. They found themselves.

The arts, which involved forms of communication like poetry, song-writing, drawing, painting and film really had a two benefits; first to empower the woman that created the art for her to know she did not go through this traumatic event in vain, and then to communicate to other women the realities of domestic violence to empower them also.

In America, there were many events that were held especially during the month of October in every state under National Domestic Violence Awareness Month. One of the most powerful set of events that I attended was the Clothesline Project which is a national attempt to unite women who have experienced domestic violence through T-shirts. The idea is for women to use their creativity to design a coloured T-shirt, a different colour for a different category of abuse as a "provocative, in-your-face, educational and healing tool" http://www.clotheslineproject.org/history.htm

I cried after seeing some of the T-shirts. 

I spoke to a domestic violence survivor who said that whilst she was with her partner she had to pass her outfit choice by him first before she went out, or he would not go outside with her. He would buy all of her clothes for her as a control tactic and then say she was very unstylish. She lacked confidence at the time and believed him. 

She described a process of healing that came to her by customising a top that she owned, once she had left. She said she knew he would be very mad if he knew what she was doing, and how empowering it was to know that he could no longer make everyday personal decisions for her, like how she looked. Now, she says she believes in herself more and more and continues to customise her clothes to create her own style as creative empowerment within her life. 

It can be the simplest things that means the most to these women once they decide to leave for good. If you can imagine their whole life is changing drastically and every step is a affirmative that they are now on the right path. Miss a step and they are likely to go back. For example, miss the important step of empowerment in domestic violence survivors and how can she believe she can live without him. 

“In youth, it was a way I had,

To do my best to please.

And change, with every passing lad

To suit his theories.

But now I know the things I know

And do the things I do,

And if you do not like me so,

To hell, my love, with you.” 

― Dorothy Parker, The Complete Poems of Dorothy Parker

This project had a powerful effect on women, by helping them find their voice creatively the same way this scholarship has had a powerful effect upon me to create value from my experiences also.