I Can See Straight Though You. Transparency... Good Or Bad???

Honesty hurts.

So does transparency... apparently.

Do you really want to know where you stand with someone?

Do you really want people to know where you stand?

Honestly???

This post was actually supposed to be about another topic but I offended someone in the process of sharing my life. So I thought I would write about the core of the issue.

TRANSPARENCY

I am an awful liar. People always say you can see exactly what I am thinking through the expressions on my face. I remember, my sister would take one look at me and tell by the sly, one-sided twitch that would form a one-sided smile on the corner of my mouth that I am lying. I would only really be lying to myself... cause I definitely couldn't lie to her!

I kind of see lies like the murky waters of the River Thames whilst the truth is the sparkling waters of a Caribbean private beach. The more you lie the more murky you are as a person where people cannot see through you. They are not sure who you are because you cover up the truth so well.

I feel very uncomfortable in murky waters as you never know what undersea creature will creep up and give you a bite on the bum. I like to see what I step into and in the same way I like to see clearly who I connect with. Every true connection you have with someone gives a little piece of you away and takes a little piece of them into you. So it's good to know who you are connecting yourself to.

I have called people "cloudy" in the past for the reason of not knowing who they are, and in the process greatly offending them. I saw cloudiness in them which led me to think they could not be trusted. I suppose that's where the descriptive word, "shady" comes from when describing a person also. Basically, my motto is to stay away from anything that is in the shadows and doesn't want to show you it's true self.

So balancing the darkness of shadiness, we have the light of transparency. Which on the whole I would consider to be a very good trait in someone that I met for the first time. For me transparency is potentially the beginning of a great friendship. Although lessons of life show me that transparency can also have it's negative side effects also. Nothing in this life is simple.

My very wonderful friend got offended with me for sharing valuable wisdom which had taken years to figure out and refine painstakingly... and I told everyone I knew in a matter of moments.

I personally choose to share what I learn with everyone I meet along the way, and on this blog but that does not mean that everyone else who share's wisdom and knowledge with me wants it to be shared also. I can truly appreciate that.

I can't even claim that knowledge and wisdom is free reign for everyone to hear and benefit from if someone specifically lets you in to a secret to benefit you alone because they care about you and your progress.

But I wanted the world to benefit... so I blabbed. Not consciously. I did it without even thinking about it. Still, I am so used to sharing everything I learn that is new and exciting on my journey that if it can benefit others around me, then usually I would shout it out.

There is a difference in moral code.

One of us views the world as a competition and one views the world as one big sleepover where everyone tells each other their secrets.

None are necessarily wrong. Both could be wrong.

There are definitely pitfalls to both. I may share a piece of knowledge that may lead a competitor (i.e. someone who is not working for my best interests) to surpass me or gain negative knowledge about me. Or I may hold back a piece of information that may have greatly helped someone in need to move forward in a positive direction.

Personally, my take on humanity is you will definitely die one day guaranteed, but hopefully what I pass on to others will live on.

So transparency with my knowledge I hope one day when I am gone will serve me well, even if I never surpass the point of my 'competitors'. Although I am a very competitive person, I love a good game of table tennis, but I feel you can't be competitive in comparing your life to others. The two are utterly incomparable, yet so completely valuable individually.

There is no handbook and set of rules on how to live your life. I wouldn't want anyone else to ever feel like they have lost in comparisons they make to others because we all have the opportunity to be winners in the lives we create for ourselves. We all live for different moments, from different experiences to create incomparable but uniquely special lives. It is great in my opinion when we can share this with others openly and honestly.

I want to be running a different race where the journey of the race mattered more that the outcome.

I will be happy then as I would have definitely won that race.